The Young British Soldier

 

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier of the Queen!

My Warhammer 40K Deal . . . Heck, My hobby Deal of the Year

 In January, before "The Big Move", I was at the local Barnes & Noble and was walking by the Clearance Section and I saw Warhammer 40K Fireteam with a $10 (US) sticker on the box. Faster than warp drive and I immediately grabbed it and headed to check out. Fireteam originally retailed for $49.99 (US) and was available exclusively at Barnes & Noble and in Germany. The $49.99 original price is a great deal - but $10! BWAH HAH HAH!

EDITOR'S NOTE: As of publishing time, Fireteam is currently 25% off and is available online for $37.49 (US).

With Fireteam, you actually get two complete fighting forces inside the box. You also get a nice plastic pack-in that keeps everything you need to play in one place. It’s a highly portable experience, and it only takes about 30-45 minutes to play a game. That means you can roll into your friend’s house or the local game shop, bang out a few games in about an hour, and move on with your day. It’s quick and satisfying, and it comes with a great selection of the push-fit models included. It is fun, fast and furious - and from what I understand, a slimmed down version of Killteam. So what do you get?

"Adeptus Astartes Primaris Assault Intercessors my fuzzy butt! We are, and always will be, IMPERIAL ASSAULT SPACE MARINES! For the Emperor (Long may he sleep!).

5 Space Marines, 10 Necron Warriors, 3 Necron Canoptek Scarab Swarms, 1 double-sided game board, 1 20 page rule book, 14 six sided dice, 22 data cards, 6 Stratagem cards, 12 mission cards, 10 special wargear cards, 18 special operations cards, and 85 tokens. Whew! All of the miniatures come unpainted but they are easy to put together with no glue and I had a blast painting them.

Necrons!

To give you an idea what a great deal the game is at the regular price, not to mention the deal I got, if you purchased the Necrons separately it would cost you $50 (US). I know, I know - GW figures are expensive. I personally believe GW (and now Warlord) have done more to promote the gaming industry than almost any other company and they were innovative with the start of hard plastic miniatures. Anyway - on with the components.

The rulebook is well laid and and lavishly illustrated. The ruleset for playing Fireteam is an abbreviated version of the brand-new Kill Team experience. Movement is abstracted from inches down to hexes, but by and large everything else is the same. Players even use similar stat blocks to control their units across both games. The Fireteam set comes with a campaign mode, just like its big brother Kill Team, meaning you can string together multiple missions with a friend and improve your individual units along the way. Best of all there are cards inside the box detailing four additional armies — one each for the Militarum Tempestus (Imperial Guard Special Forces), the T’au Empire, Orks, and Harlequins (Crazy dancing Eldar troops) — that can all be built with just one additional box of models each.

A double - sided game board that is quite sturdy.

Six Unit cards.

The back of the Space Marine unit card.

Data cards for each type of unit which are excellent references.

12 scenario cards and by the way, none of the game components are flimsy. They are all high quality. I was surprised that such a basic framework would offer many strategies, but Fireteam gets its missions, boards, and cards to do the lifting in this department. There are twelve missions, each representing the pivotal moment of a larger battle. The introductory mission  puts the teams in opposite corners, seeking to control two objective hexes. The other scenarios escalate from there into terrain interactions, fetch and carry missions, and many more besides.

Sample scenario card. Each scenario gives you particular ways to score points which often have little to do with eliminating enemy combatants. As such, it’s quite common to see your squad decimated and still win, one of several ideas it’s taken from its sister title Warhammer Underworlds. Others include its tight three-turn structure, keeping things tense, and giving each player a hand of objective cards. These give bonus points for fulfilling particular goals, like keeping your models spaced several hexes apart.

A gazillion other cards.

If playing a campaign, cards you can earn for winning a battle.

A gazillion tokens which are objectives, trackers for hits, reminders for special rules, etc. The one aspect that throws a robotic wrench into the otherwise smooth gears of Fireteam, is the sheer number of counters it uses. Models accrue counters to track wounds, activations and status effects. Stacks of large counters on a crowded board quickly become very hard to track, losing cohesion over which model owns which stack. If you're careful, it's not a great challenge but if you're clumsy, at the end of each turn, you must ferret out the non-wound ones without displacing the others. It’s an administrative task that sticks out badly in such a fast-playing game. Still fun though!

After you get everything unwrap, it actually fits in the box . . .

. . . even the miniatures. If I had kept them unpainted I would probably store them in the box.

This game is fast, furious and fun - we usually finished a game in 30 to 45 minutes. Because this is a board game rather than a miniatures game, it does away with the sometimes clumsy rules required for measured movement. Instead, when you move or check range, you count hexes. To determine a line of sight, you draw a bead from the center of one hex to the middle of the target. It’s clean and fast, as you’d want a firefight game to be.

Ogre: Heavy Artillery

 I'm continuing on with my project of painting Honorable Son #3's (The Chemical Engineering Pilot) miniatures for Ogre. Here is the Heavy Artillery.

As usual, with usual GW Contrast Paints you need to prime with either White or a Grey. All of the Ogre miniatures I am priming with White. The base is Contrast Basilicanum Grey along with the small metal highlights on the artillery tube. The tube itself is GW Contrast Black Templar.

Remember with Contrast paints to do the lighter colors first unless you want to go back and use white again to get a lighter color over a darker color. The gun carriage and Fire Direction Center (FDC) are Contrast Ultra Marine Blue with the doors and hatches highlighted with Contrast Basilicanum Grey with some red and yellow. The stripe around the gun carriage I had to go back an paint white and then I painted it Contrast Nazdreg (BWAH HAH HAH) Yellow. Ta Dah! Instant artillery battery (not counting the initial primer) I did during the first half of a football game.

Veteran's Day 2023

 It's Veteran's Day on November 11th in the United States and Remembrance Day in other countries. I'm proud to have served with the men and women of the following combat units of the United States Army:

2nd Battalion, 47th Infantry Regiment (Raiders)

2nd Brigade, 9th Infantry Division (Bad to the Bone)

1st Battalion, 52nd Infantry Regiment (Ready Rifles)

7th Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment (Regulars by God!)

4th Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment (Warriors)

2nd Battalion, 6th Infantry Regiment (Regulars by God!)

Task Force Badger, Joint Special Operations Command

The Monstrous Menacing Mechanical Men of Doctor Fu Manchu!

Okay. You’re right. They're Necron Warriors (Copyright Games Workshop, Ltd. 2023 and if you violate our Copyright you will be turned over to the 8th Edition Chaos Lawyers that we keep in the basement).

A long story short, I found the GW Warhammer 40K Fireteam game on the Clearance Shelf at Barnes & Noble for $10 (US). I said to myself, "Self - GET THAT! The game came with 10 Necrons, 3 Canoptek Scarab Swarms (???!!!), 5 Space Marines ("FOR THE EMPEROR - MAY HE SLEEP LONG!), a whole bunch of cool charts, counters, double-sided gaming board, etc. The Necrons alone normally cost $50 (US). Later on I will do a review and game report of Fireteam.

Anyway . . .

"I am a Doctor of Philosophy from Edinburgh, a Doctor of Law from Christ's College and a Doctor of Medicine from Harvard. My friends, out of courtesy, call be Doctor."

Black and white, life and death, good and evil - two sides in a chess game, two forces in the universe - one magnificent, the other sinister. It is said that the devil plays for men's souls; so does Doctor Fu Manchu... Satan himself, evil incarnate. Fu Manchu has always been one of my favorite Pulp villains - and even an updated version in Marvel Films "The Legend of the 10 Rings" added a new twist to the legendary world conqueror. The man himself, and his organization, have mostly been in the background of my games (and I have played loosey -goosey between Victorian Sci Fi and Pulp) maneuvering the pieces like pawns - eliminating rivals and foiling the forces of good. But that may change.

Well the good Doctor has a new evil invention: His Monstrous Menacing Mechanical Men (BWAH HAH HAH!)!

Armed with rudimentary lasers and heavy lasers invented by his team of scientists, his metal horde is ready to rampage as part of his great game for world conquest. Fortunately, they are not very coordinated, can't run and they walk slow. They're actually the Beta Version but production had to be sped up and hopefully the Monstrous Menacing Mechanical Men (BWAH HAH HAH!) version 2.0 won't be ready for the 2024 Pulp Campaign: The Search for Charlie.

A Monstrous Menacing Mechanical Man (BWAH HAH HAH!) armed with a heavy laser powered by the Mysterious Green Mist of Fu Manchu.

I plan on using my new found friends not only in Pulp games but also in my favorite Victorian Sci Fi rules In Her Majesty's Name. I will publish the rules I come up for them in a later post.

"Go ahead and have some fun. Incinerate the spy."

As the sun rises . . . the fall of civilization starts.

So . . . who could possibly stop these mechanical monsters? Hmmm.

To be continued . . . In the Search for Charlie.