Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles

Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

IHMN: Last Man Standing, Part 2 (Episode 5.12.2)


In our last episode, General Ronglu had dispatched is old foe, Kwai Chang Caine (and his 2+ Leadership rating), and the Martial Monks of Justice were starting to take heavy losses.

General Rongluis no match for the team up of the master and the monk. Now the Imperial Chinese lose Ronglu's Leadership of +2 and must rely on the Imperial Sergeant's +1.

The melee goes back a forth as blows are blocked, kicks are made, and Hollywood maneuvers are attempted.

Time to take out the last men with firearms.

"Hello? I just can't seem to get in the fight with my Arc Rifle that reduces armor to 7 and all of you monks only have an armor of 7."  (Whoops)

The sergeant is killed by the Master with the classic two fingers up both nostrils poke that paralyzed all of his nerves and exploded his nose at the same time. The last Imperial leader is down.

But the Shaolin takes a .45 right between the eyes.

Bao is knocked down, but not out of the fight by Yu Niu.

Lü Bu, The Harmonious Fist of Wrath, engages Yu Niu again as the epic struggle (definitely an Oscar nomination for choreography) continues. Oh, and yeah, the Karate Kid takes out the Yeti with a combination of "Cannot Defend" talent and a remarkable die roll.

"I'm back!"
Using the "Path of Shadows" Bao engages Yang Wei while Sun Kai, General Ronglu's loyal bodyguard and strong man attacks Lü Bu, The Harmonious Fist of Wrath

In a smooth move, Yu Niu blocks the Master (disengages) and attacks Lü Bu, The Harmonious Fist of Wrath from behind with her ssword while Sun Kai peppers him with bullets from the front.


In revenge, the Master uses the "Wet Willie" move which instantly freezes Sun Kai's brain and knocks him down.

 Discretion, being the better part of valor, the Karate Man decides to disengage.

Our three heroes regroup . . .

. . . while the last three of the Imperial forces look on.

"Dang it!"

 With a blur of speed the battle the last fight commences! (and that's the story I'm sticking with for the fuzzy picture.)
The Master, exhausted, falls to Yu Niu's blade of fury.

The Karate Man "boinks" Sun Kai in the eyes and takes him out while Bao blocks Yu Niu's attack.

The final stage is set.

"Dang it. I never got to fire my arc rifle."

Legend tells of a legendary fight of legendary warriors whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend against the legendary legend of the Chinese swords woman who was a legend in her own time.

Bao makes one bad move and . . . arrghhh.

 The last two standing. There can only be one.

  . . . and speaking of one.

Talk about a game that ebbed and flowed as one side then the other side had the advantage. The scenario was "Last Man Standing" from In Her Majesty's Name which we felt would be appropriate for a Hollywood or Hong Kong martial arts epic. Both sides were evenly matched, but the big mistake I made (I was the martial monks) was continuously using the Master's Meticulous Planning talent to take Yang Wei out of the game with his arc rifle. My opponent (after laughing I might add) pointed out after the Master left the game, "you know all of your figures only have an armor of 7. The arc rifle is useless in this game. You should have moved Yu Niu (the great swords woman)." You should have seen my jaw drop.  Looking forward to that rematch!

Yu Niu ponders, "Was it worth it?"

"BWAH HAH HAH! It was worth it and all goes according to my plans!"

Saturday, July 13, 2019

IHMN: Last Man Standing, Part 1 (Episode 5.12.1)


China is in turmoil in 1895; Western and Japanese Encroachment, diminished Imperial power, Warlords, ancient evils and bandits have all contributed to the chaos. Some are trying to maintain order, in their own way, and that man is General Ronglu of the Imperial Chinese Army. Unfortunately, Ronglu is a ruthless man and he has been ordered to destroy a village that will not recognize the authority of the Dowager Empress. Standing in his way is Kwai Chang Caine and the Martial Monks of Justice.

General Ronglu's Forces; yes, he has a yeti.

Kwai Chang Caine and the Martial Monks of Justice.

The Tabletop: Ronglu must travel through a ruined temple to get to the village. Little does he know that it is going to be a fight to the death.

Ronglu's men (and women and creature) move out with the new modern Chinese army to the front.

Caine's forces split into three groups: In the center is the Master who points out . . . oh never mind, Lü Bu, The Harmonious Fist of Wrath, and Daniel LaRusso, the Karate Man.

On the monk's left, Caine and another Shaolin monk advance.

On the right is another Shaolin monk and the Wonder twins Fai and Bao.

"General, the way is blocked!" yells the lead scout. "Grrrrrrr", says the wookie I mean yeti.

Caine has vowed to met out justice to General Ronglu.

The Master and the two heroes move through the dense foliage.

We interrupt this amazing battle report with a consumer message. The foliage I is mostly bought from pet stores. These are designed for fish aquariums and I use white glue to mount them on old CD's and DVD's. Very inexpensive and useful for all kinds of scenarios. The trees were bought at Hobby Lobby (a chain of stores in the USA for my non-American readers) and with their weekly 40% coupon came to about US $18. On with the mayhem.

"Spread out and form battle postions!"

Here we come a' runnin'. Note that the twins are staying together for the opportunity to yell "Wonder Twin powers, activate!"

 The Observer.
Yang Wei is a Chinese engineering scientist most famous for the invention of China's first arc generator and arc weapons. Yang is a world pioneer in the research fields of fracture mechanics, arc meso-mechanics, mechatronic reliability and has published a series books based on his research. The Master uses his Meticulous Planning talent to keep Wei and his Arc Rifle out of most of the battle - a mistake which will be discovered later.

The Mystical power "The Path of Shadows" catches Ronglu's company by surprise as they are suddenly engaged and unable to use their rifles.

Two legendary warriors face off: Yu Niu is the best swordswoman of China. She is a former Shaolin nun and while at her temple, she developed a style that is extremely efficient and ideally suited to smaller fighters having less strength.  Though conflicted, she owes a debt to Ronglu. Unfortunately for her, Lü Bu, The Harmonious Fist of Wrath, has the Numb talent and one hit is not good enough.


Pistol shots ring out and the twins are down! Fai is out of the game and Bao is knocked down.

Caine easily dispatches the soldier.

Bao bounces back as the Observer records the action (how do you think these reports get written?).

A blur of action as Caine engages General Ronglu.

Meanwhile everyone's favorite Chines engineer is moved further away.
The Master smacks a soldier aside his head while the Karate Man takes on the yeti.

Imperial Stormtroopers, I mean Imperial Chinese Soldiers are dropping like flies.

Caine is distracted by the stench of the yeti and is dispatched way too easily by General Ronglu and a Pluck roll of "1". The monks know lose his Leadership of +2 and must rely on the Master's +1.

Double tapped. Events are not looking well for the Martial Monks of Justice.

Bao uses the "Path of Shadows" to avoid more pistol fire.
The epic struggle continues as the Master and a Shaolin monk engage the General.

Cliffhanger!

In our next Episode we find out:

1. How many bad martial arts and Three Stooges references I can make?
2. How much armor does an arc rifle reduce on the target?
3. With their leader dead, is there any hope for the Martial Monks of Justice?