Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles

Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Are you a real Wargamer?

Copied from Big Lee's Miniature Adventure, see this post 
To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following:
* Spent at least £500 ($800.00 in American dollars) on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 ($800.00 in American dollars) you've spent
At least $1600.00  (2 points)
* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times
Yes.  Great Northern War Swedes that had straight pins as pikes. (1 point)
* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again
Yes  (1 point)
* Bought an army off EBay
  Unpainted Foundry Army deal for Early Imperial Romans (1 point)
* Sold an army on eBay
  Sold about 15 armies on eBay (1 point)
* Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once
..or never! 
  Yep; the Early Imperial Romans never made it to the battlefield (1 point)
* Tried several different periods and genres
Yes (1 point)
* Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
  Once (sniff)  (1 point)
* Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
  Yes!  At least twice and they were great games. (1 point) 
* Made at least one enemy for life
No (0 point)
* Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table
No (0 point)
* Thrown a dice across a room
  I've seen them thrown  . . . but never was it me (0 point)
* Rebased an army for a different rule set
  Yes.  15mm Napoleonic and 15mm War of Spanish Succession (1 point)
* Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
  Yes (1 point)
* Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision

  The American Civil War and the War of Spanish Succession.  Note for players of the WSS: Don't send your lines of infantry through the woods and expect them to be ready to fight.- the first time I ever games ECW. (1 point)
* Joined a wargamers club
Kinda - not a club but regular gamers (1/2 point)
* Bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
Of course! (1 point)
* Been to a wargamers show
Yes (1 point)
* Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them
This is embarrassing . . . Yes. (1 point)
* Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
  Not to a club to my friend's house and at work for a "talent" show. (1/2 point)

And now some extra questions....

* You have reference books on each period / army you play
Yes (1 point)

* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or rule set to the one you're playing at that moment
  Nope. (0 point)

* You have lied to your spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby
  No. (0 points)

* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post
Yes (1 point)

* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)
No. (0 points)
* You have played in an unsuitable venue 
No. (0 point) 

* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).
English Civil war but I think I may have found them. (1 point)

* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods.  And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.
  No. (0 point)

* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No (0 points)

* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.
Getting close to that based on the hygiene habits of certain gamers in some genres . . . (0 points)

* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yes. (1 point)

* You have reached a painting 'wall'
  No (0 points)

* You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.
  and lost and regained and lost and . . . well, you get the idea. (1 point)
* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.
No. (0 point)

* You have done armies in different scales for the same period 
Yes (1 point)

* You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
  Maybe . . . (1/2 point)

* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job 
Yes, but always secretly and NEVER to their face (1 point)

* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your war gaming knowledge. 
I didn't think it was useless. (1 point)
* You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Oh yeah. (1 point)

* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor). 
 No. (1 point)

* You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point (I have literally danced in front of someone when he failed a morale roll) 
But never gloated.(1 point)

* You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her.  I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".
No (0 points)

* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.  
No (0 points)

* You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
No (0 points)

* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once (Monty, you dawg!)  
  The American Revolution - 3 times in 28mm. (1 point)

* You have reference books on armies you haven't even got.
 It's the journey for knowledge! (1 point)

* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap.
No.  (0 points)

* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a die that has let you down. 
No. (0 points)

* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
 Well duh! (1 point)

* Your book collection is almost all war and war games related
Yes. (1 point)

* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy.
Yes . . . and my wife says "That's nice dear." (1 point)

* You spend car/train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wa rgaming terrain.
Yes; but that's primarily from habit by being a retired infantry officer. (1 point)

Looks like 35 1/2 points if I counted correctly.  Now if will be interesting to see how I stack up against others out there.


  1. Great set of answers and thanks for the link back. I can't take the credit for this poll though as it was originally written by Phil Broeders on his blog The Wargaming Site.

  2. Sounds hardcore to me...

    Ironic you lost points for all the questions where you DIDN'T lie to family or make enemies.